Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Feelin' good...

I've had a lot of people telling me since Veronica's birth that I look really good for a woman who just had a baby. I'm vacillating between 8 and 10 pounds BELOW my pre-pregnancy weight. I have about 10-15 pounds until I'm feeling REALLY good, but I think I'm doing pretty good all things considered. I started on my thyroid medication again, so I'm hoping that will help me shed the last few pounds. Let us not forget that at this point after having Savannah, I started packing on about THIRTY POUNDS after losing all the pregnancy weight in the 6 weeks postpartum. Ah, thyroid condition, how I loathe thee...

Not only am I feeling better about my physical appearance, but I've had people mention how HAPPY I am now. I know that is totally from God. I withdrew emotionally, mentally, and spiritually after Savannah's birth. I do believe I had a good case of the "baby blues" after that. I don't think I truly shook them until after Veronica arrived. I prayed before I went into labor that God would give me a love for my girls that could not be shaken. I prayed that I would allow myself to see them for the blessings they truly are and that I would be the best mother I could be to them in all aspects.

Tonight, we went shopping for some things we needed, including a top for me to wear in our family pictures that we're getting this week. The first one I tried on was perfect. It was *just* form fitting enough without being obscene to show off the figure that I got from birthing children whom all hold a special place in my heart and soul. I put my hands on the hips that have spread slightly from carrying them for nine months. Without being vulgar, it accentuated the breasts that have provided nourishment for them. I rubbed my shoulders, stiff from carrying and snuggling them. I looked into the dressing room mirror, smiled back at the face with the eyes with a slight hint of circles under them from late nights playing with a toddler and early mornings babbling with a baby. And that's when it truly hit me...

I am a Mommy. I couldn't be happier.